It’s been hard to be anywhere without being bombarded by Michael Jackson’s music and videos in memory of his legacy he left behind. And for all the best and worst of his lifetime, no other song had penetrated me as much as his hit “Man in the Mirror”.

Although the song was speaking of the deepest needs of those starving and left out in the cold worldwide, I believe the greater message is for you and me – that in order for this world to change, we ourselves need to first make the change within ourselves – starting with me!

So are you ready to be that ‘Man in the Mirror’ and how that change starts with you first? I know I am —- let’s make the world a better place starting with ourselves!

To a Better World
Lisa

“Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece.”

– Nadia Boulanger

A Zen master was once asked for the top three qualities for enlightenment. His response was Attention, Attention, Attention. To change ourselves, to become more aware and spiritual and a creator of our own lives takes time and perseverance. One must make the time and then take the time. It requires discipline. It requires ATTENTION! Research has found that one has to do a least 4 to 6 different things around any particular issue to cause the subconscious mind to shift and integrate. It does not matter what the 4 to 6 things are.

My own personal and spiritual growth has since been vitally important to me after returning from The Opening … My heart and soul had been ‘fully opened’ and now attention to details is so vivid and no matter where I go – they jump out at me. So I choose to give it attention every day. I breathe deeper, meditate whenever I can, read for half an hour, and review my vision/goals or what is important to me for a while each day. I take time outside to sit and connect with nature, being aware of who I am. I want to exercise daily– still have to master that one though but I know being persistent puts me still on the right track! 

My question to you is: How much do you yearn for positive change? Let’s ponder the benefits of resolving a difficult relationship, being more abundant and self-confident, enhancing your creativity and intuition… Is it worth the time? Are you truly committed? Growth takes time, persistence … and attention.

If you are serious about personal growth, get started by creating a dream week. Idealize your days. Using a colored highlighter and block off your quality time paying attention to what you truly spend your precious time doing. For example, book one hour each morning, evening or at lunch for your own routine. Perhaps you would appreciate a walk each afternoon? Now honor this calendar! Do not allow any other events to bump off these commitments because these help you grow in spirit and feed your soul. 

“Every choice moves us closer to or farther away from something. Where are your choices taking your life? What do your behaviors demonstrate that you are saying yes or no to in life?”
– Eric Allenbaugh

“Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention.”
– Greg Anderson

To the Opening of Your Higher Self

Dear friends and loved ones

It’s been awesome over the last five days – just finished The Opening and  man – what a ride I tell ya! Thank you from the depths of my heart to Martin and his team for opening the eyes to my heart and now being able to truly ’see’ things and life and most importantly, myself for WHO I REALLY AM!

At this ‘intensive’ programme, we were taught to be ‘fully opened’ and not hide in ourselves anymore. One of the big learns and moment of realisation was that it’s okay to be selfish…

What do you mean, I hear some asking? 

Well, it means to be unreservedly be ’selfish’ and ‘fill ourselves with whatever we need to be better and greater people, so that we can go out there to affect more lives and transform others because of Who We Are.

On my way back from Colorado, I checked my email and there it was – the message jumping out at me:

Selfishness has its place

“Keeping an asset/deficit balance sheet even for a few days will give you an extremely clear picture of where you’re adding to your energy account, where you’re overdrawing it, and how you’re accomplishing both.”

– Doc Childre and Howard Martin

I contemplated on this and this is what I got in that ‘Moment of Truth’:

You may think it’s selfish to focus on your own personal needs and desires. After all, other people need your time and attention, right? Of course they do. But we can only serve others skillfully when we are well nourished and happy ourselves. Looking after yourself is the greatest gift you can give others, because when you genuinely meet your own needs, you can then more genuinely serve them in turn. 

Based on experience, few people who are interested in self-improvement have problems with selfishness. Most are too selfless. They give of themselves until they’re drained dry and can’t give any more. This serves no one well. I know this very very well – I am one of these kind of person.

I would like to invite you to explore how taking the time to look after yourself makes you better able to love and serve others. I ask myself these questions – maybe you could ‘contemplate’ on them and see what turns up for you? … Are your ready to be ‘fully opened’ to your own truth?

*In a typical week, how many hours do you give to others?

*How much time do you give to yourself for what you most want to do or go deep into yourself to find out WHO YOU REALLY ARE?

*How can you better balance personal time with focusing on others each week?

Here’s some suggestions to help you get on a roll…

Be self nurturing. Start using ‘I’ more often than ‘You’. Book at least one appointment each week in your calendar for you alone. Go out to breakfast or lunch by yourself. Go for a solitary nature walk and soak in Nature’s beauty and perfection. Take a mini retreat even if it is only for a few hours or a day or even a week!

Whatever you do, know in your heart that it’s okay to be selfish because we want to serve more people – but we can’t UNLESS we get bigger with ourselves and the only way of this is to BE SELFISH and feed ourselves first before others. 

Honour yourself. Appreciate yourself. Explore yourself. You need time and space to find your true expression. My most insightful meetings are with 3 people – me, myself and I. Take this group of ‘3′ and connect with who you truly are – this ‘3′ is like your own Holy Trinity…

Pamper yourself – you are worth it!

Think about this:

“When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be toward others.”

– Eda LeShan

I now realise this for myself  … so what are you willing to do to know yourself in all your truths? 

Looking towards a Bigger You and to our Selfishness to be that Bigger Me! 

I have just finished a research paper and this is what I learnt in summary …

“Mindfulness is the state of being aware of our own perceptions, thoughts, feelings and reactions. As we become more self-aware, we learn to identify and acknowledge our own habits of mind and so prevent ourselves from being trapped by them. As we see and accept them, they tend to dissipate giving us a clearer view of what is around us. 

This heightened consciousness provides the best platform from which to coach others. It is unbiased by our own agendas. It allows us to be aware of the nuances of what the client brings leading to more openness, spaciousness and acceptance. This is what as coaches, strive to cultivate through our own mindfulness and not be trapped by mindlessness. “

As I get on in my daily living, I am reminded of how thoughtless I can be in many moments – not even realising what I am doing at that point in time. Having learnt mindfulness, I am even more conscious about how mindless I have been. Sometimes doing things on an ‘automatic’ mode does not serve me well as I end up not getting the results I desire – all because of how mindless I had been through that process. 

I realise also that to release myself from my ’sufferings’ tied to my mindlessness, I needed to rise above that ‘unconscious’ mode and become mindful of the actions I take, ensuring that it is in line with what I want or desire. 

I leave you with a beautiful quote about Mindfulness: 

 

“We need to think of our attention as something we must train just as we train our fingers to play the piano or violin. We don’t just practice when we are performing, we practice intensely in between performances.”

Gregg Krech
Director, ToDo Institute ”Life is a Matter of Attention”
author of Naikan: Gratitude, Grace and the Power of Self-Reflection
(Japanese Art of Self-Reflection)

What about you today … how mindful are you or have you simply been mindless? 

Today was a day like no other ….

I encountered TWICE in a day, people falling down and fainting right in front of me. Let me share with you both encounters. 

The first was an old lady slipping on a steep incline in front of the Mass Rapid Transit station where I live. As she fell, I heard gasps and big intakes of breath. All of the sudden, it was as if the world came to an abrupt stop and everyone stopped where they were with held breaths. The after 5 seconds, only a handful of people rushed forward to help, either offering hands to help the lady who was in obvious pain up, or hovering above her to render other means of aid. Finally, the old lady turned to her side and attempted to get up. As she did, only two persons out of the five crowding around her immediately gripped her arm and hauled her up from the ground. It took a while and finally, she was on her feet, but she still could not walk well. She used her umbrella to hobble to the side and sat at the curb for a moment to regain her senses. Only then did I realise that no one had bothered to stay back and ensure that she was truly all right and whether she was in any great pain. It was then I went up to her and asked her if she was really all right and she nodded her head. 

The second incident was when I was in the train and a young man suddenly fainted right in front of me. Same – picture as in the first incidence happened. Everyone just stood there and stared and waited for someone else there to help. Then myself and another kind young man bent over to help the man up after he became conscious again and even then, no one else did anything. The helping man then accompanied the person who had just fainted off the train and alighted at the next stop. 

I learnt in a span of less than 2 hours what the meaning of grace was. Incidences like these leaves me wondering where the grace has gone to. I am then reminded of the definition of grace which I came across today: ”Grace is the exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another.”

Karl Barth, Swiss Theologian, among the most influential of the 20th century. 1886-1968, once quoted:

“Grace must find expression in life, otherwise it is not grace.”

What a lesson for me … i realised if I did not even reach out to help both persons in need and make it an expression in my life, then it is not grace truly. What about yourself? Have you expressed grace enough to make it count when needed? I know I have a long way to go but as long as I keep at it, I’m sure practice will make it better and better with each passing day. How much practice are you doing with this daily then? Looking towards sharing your thoughts … 

To a Gracious World

 

Today, I came across an article by Martin Lee, on one of his older blogs, sharing on James Skinner’s ideas about wealth some time ago at one of the seminars he gave some time back …

Martin wrote about James asking audience members if anyone had any money in their wallets. Then someone gave him a $10 note, which James then went ahead and put into his pockets, not returning it to the person who gave it to him after that. The lesson learnt? 

James said: “Do not in any situation give money to people you do not know, on terms and conditions that are unclear, and without understanding the underlying risks that are involved, because the money will not come back to you.”

This is one of the rules for wealthy people, who check out the premise behind giving their money to anyone for any reason. It then made me think about myself who is usually the generous sort and where my money goes when I hand it over to someone else. 

Many times, in our human nature, we say we don’t really expect any returns when we lend or give our money to someone and see it as a generous move. However, based on James Skinner’s advice, what we failed to do was to find out the reason for the person being given the money and on our part, we failed ultimately to protect our own hard-earned money. 

This leaves me to wonder how often we think about protecting our own money and freely give it away without second thought … how well do we know this person we are handing our money to and do we know any of the risks involved in handing over that dollar? 

I am generous to a fault but this statement by James Skinner made me think twice about my mentality about protecting my money today. Some may say this delves into being stingy and selfish in many ways, but in reality, it’s really about us working hard to make our money and then simply giving it away without second thought. The more I think about this, the more I realise how much I need to protect the assets and goods I have … otherwise, it will simply disappear somehow, somewhere and my road to wealth will not be going anywhere then. 

What do you think? Are you generous to a fault and giving away your money without checking first? I suppose if you’re like me and you’ve committed to being wealthy, then the first change to make is to guard your dollars carefully and ensure you’re just not flushing it down a toilet bowl for any reason… better to check than regret later. 

To Your Well-Guarded Wealth

I got invited by a friend of mine, Vivienne Quek to comment on a topic:

“Sure, farmers do not sow in winter for all seeds will not bloom and grow in the cold. In fact, all farmers know the necessity of keeping enough food stock to survive the winter without working. The rich farmers can keep enough for reserve and sell the rest for profits, what about the poor farmers?

Businesses are like the farms. What happens to businesses that do not have existing activities that will tide them until spring comes? These businesses will not be able to act like rich farmers.”

I believe the key to rise above the economic winter should go beyond just looking at this in wealth, monetary or work terms. I hold on to the belief that life is too short to just look at things from what I learnt as a ‘tunnel’ vision because if so, we lose sight of the bigger world full of opportunities when we see things instead from a ‘total’ vision. 

Its easy to lose sight of what’s important to us in life, especially with the stresses and distractions. To me, it’s not essential to keep questioning whether the chicken or the egg came about first. Instead, my focus needs to be homing in on what’s keeping me alive at the end of the day – my breathing, my family whom I fight for everyday, my relationships which keep me loving more and more and so on. 

Each of us has different things to keep us going from day-to-day. Mine may likely be different from yours. But the common thread in the discussion is the action we are going to take when the crunch comes about. When push comes to shove to ensure our means of living, whether it’s financially, emotionally, physically or spiritually, it’s a choice we make. By saying this, I take it a step further … it’s a very conscious choice we make. 

I ask many people then: how do you go about deciding what to do in a time like this when everyone else is down and negative? Do you consciously follow their sentiments and behave like the farmer in winter or do you become a hunter instead? Or do you choose another position? Whatever the choice, the process you go through is the same – you still have to be aware of what you want and how to live your life now and not yesterday or tomorrow.  Someone once said ‘ The Time is Now’ and no doubt about it because I’d rather leave tomorrow to worry about itself or yesterday to continue to be in the past. 

I’d rather spend my time to DREAM with the choices I make … and before you think I’m popping off into dreamland, check this out: 

Decide

Research

Evaluate

Action

Manifest / Maintain

Wondering if this may be useful to some of you who may be struggling with the choices you make in an economic climate as this?  What do you say to DREAMing now? 

To Conscious Choices

I tagged Lionel Koh to share his view on this.

 

Hello! 

We’re in the midst of our Lunar New Year celebrations and it was a nice thing for my hubby and kids to join my parents-in-law for dinner at their place tonight. It was a moment I felt was becoming rarer due to all of us being busy with our own activities. All the more, I believe, we would treasure such moments even more. 

And one of the more ‘treasured moments’ was when we happen to be at my parents in law’s home tonight and our nephew had a ’show & tell’ to do tomorrow. As we ate dinner, our nephew was trying his best to memorise a whole page of written script prepared for the ’show & tell’. However, he was struggling and it was becoming more than a frustration for him, all the more considering how much time he had left to memorise the entire script. 

It was then that my hubby, feeling that the little boy struggled too hard with the script in hand, and proceeded to help him do his ’show & tell’ in a much better way. After about an hour of ‘repetition’ and confidence building moments, the boy felt better about the whole activity and managed to do his ’show & tell’ with much less struggles than when he first started with. 

As I am seeing and understanding the details of the above incident, a thought strikes me that I should look at it from a big picture perspective too. And that was when understanding dawned upon me. 

It occurred to me that if my hubby and I had not chosen to be there tonight, our nephew might have continued to struggle with his ’show & tell’ and who knows how much more ‘detrimental’ it would be for his confidence levels in doing it for real the following day. I realised then that in life, it certainly is no accident that the Universe brought us there in the right moment for the right purposes. 

I also recall the many other times in my life that no matter how I try to figure it out, I could never understand how some things / events just fall into place, like pure destiny. It struck me today that truly, our nephew might have put out an unconscious intention of desperately needing solid help with the task at hand – and when the intention is strong enough, there the help is found – in my hubby tonight. 

It’s not because we are proud or anything of that sort – but instead, we are grateful that we are able to be in the right place at the right time to affect those around us- in big or small ways. In life, it’s no accident that we come across certain situations or people that shape us to be who we are today. And with that, a big toast to those who have affected me till today. My heart and most sincere gratitude go out to you – you are my heroes always. 

To life’s ‘accidents’ in putting us where we should be to ‘affect’ others … it’s destiny at work!

For those who have trouble accepting yourself and recognising how unique you are in this life, this one’s for you: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5omDkJvN7Y

Here’s the lyrics – sing along and believe – then watch the magic happen:

Stay The Same”

[Chorus]
Don’t you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don’t you ever say you don’t like the way you are. 
When you learn to love yourself, you’re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, 
cuz there’s nothin’ ’bout you I would change.

[Verse]
I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don’t be afraid if you’ve got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You’ll make it through.

[Chorus]

Peace to all.

I learnt a big lesson tonight in the midst of fast and furious conversations between myself and two other friends. We skyped each other and discussed the perceptions of writing in fiction and non-fiction, fact versus non-facts.

I am vividly reminded of the saying: “Integrity can be compared to a great smoothie. It consists of many healthy and tasteful virtues such as discernment, loyalty, courage, honesty, and humility all mixed together to form one outstanding quality. Not only is it rewarding in the end, but the act of striving for it is well worth the effort.” <Unknown Author>

I agree- when I held on to my principles of choosing integrity instead of going with what the crowd did, I felt good and at peace with myself. I did not have to struggle with aligning myself with the situation at hand and with my values and principles. I did not have to struggle to make that difficult choice and trying to ’see it in another way.’ Integrity remained integrity for me – it could not and would not change based on my own experience and perception. It may not be integrity to some other people but when I choose to live by my own life standards, it was not hard to be firm when the crunch came about. 

For some people, it was easy to ‘get about’ the perception of truth versus non-truth. There is no right and wrong and I believe it’s just that we each have different values and principles we hold onto as the day passes. The question is: to what degree will you hold on to them and are you willing to exchange them for something else? My answer is clearly NO, although some other people might not see it the same way as I do. 

Regardless, the world has a place for each of us – more than enough space. Why compete with others on rights, wrongs, truth, untruths etc. I think my energy is better spent being aware and acting on living my life with as much congruency as possible. Tough but absolutely rewarding. What about you – do you think you have integrity and does your degree of holding on to it change from situation to situation? How do you define it?

By the way, I love smoothies – and the next time I have one – I will be reminded of what integrity means to me in this lifetime. 

With integrity.